What is Consent?
CHECK Yourself: Are you Embodying Consent?
Wanna have sex? Consent 101. Check out this video!
For consent to exist person(s) involved must act freely and voluntarily and have knowledge of the nature of the act involved. If threat, coercion, intoxication or violence is happening consent DOES NOT exist.
Here at HSU....
We EXPECT more than the legal definition. For us, Consent = the presence of an active genuine yes, strong want and desire from all involved. It is NOT the absence of no.
*Learn more about consent (what it is and isn't) and what we expect here at HSU by checking out our "What is Consent" page.
If you see an absence of consent, CHECK IT.
CONSENT IS REQUIRED.
Sexual Acts without consent = Assault, violence
BEFORE INITIATING SOMETHING, ASK YOURSELF "CAN THEY FREELY EXPRESS CONSENT?" Are they drunk? Passed out? Stumbling? High on drugs? Incoherent/not really present or mentally aware? If you answered yes to any of these THEY CAN NOT GIVE CONSENT. An absence of consent = sexual assault.
Learn more about what consent does and does not look like here.
Here is a fun video about consent!
Since we do not live in a very consent centered culture, often it can be a struggle to explore and express our wants, desires, and boundaries. Check out our Sexy Communications page for fun activities that can help get the conversation started in creative ways. We challenge you to do alteast one of the activities!
1. REFLECT ON + EXPLORE YOUR DESIRES AND BOUNDARIES. AND COMMUNICATE THEM W/ YOUR SEXUAL PARTNER(S) What are you into? what are your turn-offs, turn-ons? What feels good? What makes you feel uncomfortable? What would you like to do? How do you communicate yes? How do you communicate no? Sometimes it can be really hard to express our wants/fantasies/turn-ons/turn-offs with a partner. We've got some FUN and creative sexy communication activities that can help get the conversations started!
Photo Source: Check out the other two parts of the comic!
CHECK OUT OUR CONSENT THEMED DRINK MENU! Here's a quick preview:
MAI TIME…...............................................................gettin’ down with myself!
MO(re)’HITO..................Interested in more? Communicate about it!
SEX ON THE BEACH..............................................only if people are into it!
SCREW DRIVER .....................….doesn’t mean I’m gonna screw later.
*click here for full version.
Help centralize messages of consent and CHECKing IT within the party scene! Visit our Party Merch. page for more info.
2. ASK, LISTEN, AND RESPECT THEIR ANSWERS. Do they wanna make out? hook up? cuddle? Awesome! Are they not interested? That's cool - move on!
4. CHECK IN w/ YOURSELF, w/ THEM, & COMMUNICATE.
Are you feeling it? Do you want to go further?
Do something else? Are you into what your partner(s)
is asking and/or doing? How is your partner(s)? How
are they expressing their consent? Do they want to
continue or stop? Switch it up? Speed it up?
Slow down? You can't know unless you ask! we aren't
mind readers and don't want to run the risk of
crossing someone's boundaries and hurting them.
Click here for some creative ways we can express
and ask for consent in the heat of the moment!
3. LISTEN FOR A GENUINE/ENTHUSIASTIC YES, NOT THE ABSENSE OF A NO. Do you hear/see/feel their enthusiasm? That they want you to continue? Does it look like they might not be into what's happening? Did they say the words yes but they don't seem like they're sure? STOP AND CHECK IN. Consent is not a one stop process, it's ongoing checking in. Pressuring someone to do something or ignoring their boundaries IS NOT CONSENT.
5. REFLECT AFTERWARDS - INDEPENDENTLY AND/OR
TOGETHER. Was it hot or not? Did you feel like you
were able to express your wants as
well as boundaries? Strengthening communication
takes practice! Which is why it is important for us
TO PRACTICE. To test different tools out. To explore
and discover what works best for us as we all have
different communication styles and needs. It can be
fun too! And lead to much better sex.