Sexy Communication Tips & Activities!
Consent is ESSENTIAL and sexy. The only way to know how someone is feeling is to ask! Let's get creative =).
First....Some Ground Rules when Playing w/ Others:
Set some ground rules before engaging in sexy activities. And remember, all activities need to be grounded within consent and respect for your sexual partner(s)
and their boundaries. Before beginning, ask, do your sexual partner(s)
want to play? What expectations/guidelines do you have for each other? A few
important ground rules to set and talk about:
Partner(s) at any time should be able to stop the activity and should
not feel pressured to continue or to answer in a certain way. Setting up a
"safe word" to end the activity can be helpful.
Respect each other and each other's vulernability.
Never force someone to try something that they are not interested in or something
that makes them uncomfortable.
If your partner is into something that you aren't - that's okay - move on! Discover
things that you all are into and interested in doing/trying.
Embrace the awkward!
Have fun, get creative, and TALK ABOUT IT!
3 Fun Ways to Get the Conversation Started!
To communicate and further discover our wants, desires, and boundaries with a sexual partner(s).
ABC Game: A sexy & fun activity to learn more about yourself and partner(s), and to discover and engage in conversation about each other’s wants, desires, fantasies, boundaries, needs, etc.
Directions: Go through each letter of the alphabet, both taking turns listing different words, intimate acts, activities that come to mind with each letter of the alphabet. EX: A – Anal, B – Bubble bath, C- Cunnilingus, L – Licking, K – Kissing. If you or your partner(s) states a particular act, activity, etc. that they might be interested in or wants to talk more about, they say “DING.” After one says Ding, you can engage in further conversation about it. If you or your partner(s) do not say “Ding,” you simply move on to the next letter of the alphabet. Saying "ding" does not mean you will do it, just that you want to talk more about it. It’s okay to be awkward! To laugh, to be silly! The point of this activity is to talk about sex, to communicate and get the conversation started!
Writing Exercise: Take a moment to write a letter to yourself, and/or to a partner(s) and let the creativity flow! You can try out some of these exercises. Write a fantasy with your real, imagined, and/or future sexual partners in it. Creatively envision what you want your next sexual experience to look like (this can be with just you too! Body loving on ourselves is important and sexy). What feels good? Sounds good? Write about your wants, desires, fantasies, boundaries, needs. Write what beautiful sex means to you. what does it look like? feel like? taste like? Write what you love about your partner(s) or someone you've imagined, how do they feel on your skin? how do you feel?
Fill in the Blank Challenge: Share w/ (real or imagined) sexual partners, friends, etc. Add your own lines, fill out separately, and then share when one another. My biggest turn on__________. My biggest turn off ___________. It makes me happy when __________. It makes me uncomfortable when ___________. I don’t really like __________ but I LOVE __________. My favorite spot to be touched is ____________ but I
don't like to be touched on my __________. I feel the most sexy/beautiful when ____________. I like when I hear ___________, when I feel ____________. It would excite me if _________ and _________. It makes me so hot when I ______________ when you _______________. I would love to try ____________. Do you think you would be into ________? How would you feel about exploring __________? I love it when you kiss _________ touch __________bite ________ lick ______________ If you wanted, we could talk about trying ___________. May I ______________ your____________? Add your own fill in blanks!
Check out some more awesome activities here.
Self-Loving Sexy Activities
Write a love letter to you! What do you love about yourself? Your body? Your mind?
Explore Your Body (Masturbate)
Journal: What have been your favorite sexual exeriences? Describe your ultimate fantasy? How do you express consent?
Give Yourself a Massage or Foot Rub
Take a bath w/ essential oils or bath salts
Treat Yourself! What makes you feel sexy? feel good?
See If Your Desires Match Up!
Check out these following desire compatibility based activities and see what y'all might be into:
Autostraddle Sexapalooza activity worksheets! (click here)
Get that pen on! Who knew worksheets could be so interesting and helpful for communication. Includes activities that explore what you may be into, what turns you on, what language feels good to you, where you draw the line/what your boundaries are, and where your desires intersect.
Yes/No/Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory List: (click here). Great list to go through either by yourself and/or with a partner – to better assess and reflect on what you may be interested in trying, and what your personal boundaries and preferences are.
Only set up for two people to take. Questionnaire includes a list of potential sex acts and provides your partner with the same list. After you both complete the questionnaire, it will share the acts that you both selected as wanting to try.
Feeling adventerous? Want a little spontineouty?:
Get Crafty! Create your own:
Fortune Teller: Write activties that you would love to do with a partner(s) that night. Remember, just because your partner selects something does not mean they or you are obligated to do it! Instruction Guide & Template Coming Soon!
Dice: Print out form coming soon!